Backwards or Forwards

So I had a pretty good job at a trucking company– high stress  but good. I liked my co-workers and the pay was great. I left after 7 months after a highly stressful couple of weeks. I went into a job that the trucking company deals with; however I told the trucking company I went back to school. In hind site I should have went HR & management and explained how I was feeling

After a couple weeks at the new job, I started to really question whether the job was really for me or not ; now after almost 2 months I kind of realize it isn’t. I have heard through former co-workers the trucking company that my old boss still asks about me and if I would be willing to come back. I have since sent an email to the boss that was asking as well as the HR manager stating that things didn’t work out and that if there was a position open up then I would be excited to come back. The HR manager emailed me back right away saying there were options for me.

This morning my current boss called me out for being quite the last couple weeks and asking if I was happy in my position. I was honest and said I’ve been struggling with whether or not I am the right person for the job as it deals with a lot of accounting and numbers and costing.

The company I currently work for is small only about 45 people ; however trucking company has over 200 and seems to be more room for growth and at 33 years old , I'm not sure I want to be stuck in a deadened reception job.

I’m just so confused on what to do….please help.

Home....

Foxford – a small hamlet 45 min out of Prince Albert going towards Nipawin on Hwy 55.

That’s the definition that is given. It is a blink and you miss it kind of place; however for over thirty years for me it was so much more; so much more than four houses and a post office, it was home. It was the place I went when I needed to remember who I was, where I came from and just - for a little while - be a kid no matter how old I was.

I have so many memories and so many firsts at the farm on the south side of Hwy 55. It’s hard to put into words the amount a place, a piece of land, a smell, a feeling means to you after all those years.  I learned to walk, I learned to ride a horse, I learned to drive and I learned to let go because now that’s what we need to do, what the four people who loved it and will miss it the most need to do…let go. 

It’s a unique feeling of pride and home and loss that only three other people on this planet will experience.

I consider myself so lucky to have been able to call the same four walls and same piece of land home for my entire childhood, teenage years and into adulthood. I have true roots and those roots run deep. Nothing can take away the memories and even though it hurts and feels so much like the death of something, I will always remember planting the trees that we later played in as kids, I will always remember dad coming home after hunting with a deer or moose or elk and being so excited, I will remember planting flowers with mom and working in the craft shop, I will always remember playing Lego and hiding a cat with Kolby.