i know i havent written lately but i havent had much to write about or have really wanted to remember for that matter.
i will try and be better. i think it will be hard though cuz i have 3 days left in the city and then im lake bound for the summer and im more than excited :)
went to Regina at the begining of the month and saw James, we talked kinda and hes going through some big stuff and thats ok thats life but i think it will be ok with us even if we never get together as a couple cuz i really do consider him an amazing friend and im not worried when it comes to him
Kory still isnt speaking to me and people are starting to ask why and i have no idea what to tell them anymore but i said to Amanda maybe he wants to fix it and whatever but its just gone so long that he dosent know what to say or if i will even forgive him for treating me like this cuz i catch him looking at me when im around so who knows but dont worry i will keep ya'll updated haha
Showing posts with label monday morning confessions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label monday morning confessions. Show all posts
June 13, 2011
March 29, 2011
good to be me....
i had yet another amazing weekend at the lake.
i went up friday night, got smashed and made $125 in tips.
went on a beer run saturday, worked that night, got smashed again and stayed the night in a bed with Kylie and Brett with Kory sleeping on top of a bunkbed.
worked sunday then got smashed in shack with my boss and two other people and then decided it was time that me and Kory fix things.
i txted him and said that i wanted to talk to him and he said ya but there is always people around so i suggested we go for a drive, he agreed...so i picked him up and we drove around....i apologized for what happend with me and Cody and he said dont worry about, save your sorrys for something sad...he told me that he thought i was mad at him, i told him that i valued our friendship and that i wanted to keep in my life as a friend, he agreed and wants the same thing, i asked him how come he hasnt texted me or called and he said neither have you.....
he is going through some really big stuff right now and my heart breaks for him cause he is a good person and he dosent deserve whats happening, its just not fair....
we arent back where we were but at least we have now taken steps to fix what may or may not have been broken.
i care about him as a person and as a friend and if we are a story that never gets told then thats fine cause i know i said in the past about Kevin but i mean it with Kory that if all we are is friends then great cause i would rather have him in my life as that then not at all but despite what ive said and how it looks on the outside there is something there, you cant deny that, people look at the way we are around each other and there is something there i just know it .... i cant wait for him but im not interested in having anything else with anyone else, i love my single life and plan on staying this way for awhile; however Kory is the ONLY exeption to that rule
i went up friday night, got smashed and made $125 in tips.
went on a beer run saturday, worked that night, got smashed again and stayed the night in a bed with Kylie and Brett with Kory sleeping on top of a bunkbed.
worked sunday then got smashed in shack with my boss and two other people and then decided it was time that me and Kory fix things.
i txted him and said that i wanted to talk to him and he said ya but there is always people around so i suggested we go for a drive, he agreed...so i picked him up and we drove around....i apologized for what happend with me and Cody and he said dont worry about, save your sorrys for something sad...he told me that he thought i was mad at him, i told him that i valued our friendship and that i wanted to keep in my life as a friend, he agreed and wants the same thing, i asked him how come he hasnt texted me or called and he said neither have you.....
he is going through some really big stuff right now and my heart breaks for him cause he is a good person and he dosent deserve whats happening, its just not fair....
we arent back where we were but at least we have now taken steps to fix what may or may not have been broken.
i care about him as a person and as a friend and if we are a story that never gets told then thats fine cause i know i said in the past about Kevin but i mean it with Kory that if all we are is friends then great cause i would rather have him in my life as that then not at all but despite what ive said and how it looks on the outside there is something there, you cant deny that, people look at the way we are around each other and there is something there i just know it .... i cant wait for him but im not interested in having anything else with anyone else, i love my single life and plan on staying this way for awhile; however Kory is the ONLY exeption to that rule
February 28, 2011
BRAAAP !!!!!
My week at the lake was….. wait for it …. AWESOME!!!!
I worked 12 hrs a day (totally didn’t feel like it at the time), did a lot of drinking and kissed a boy and put the whole issue with Kory to bed for good (I hope so at least)
On that note, here’s how it all went down….Sunday I called and Kory to come for wings Tuesday and he was back and forth about it so whatever long story short he didn’t come , he rolled in Saturday am at like 930am with Tornado da Slednecks (what I’m calling him and his crew from now on)
anyway he rolled in probably still drunk from the night before and not two words to me oh wait that’s a lie he asked me for a drink but called me by the nickname Kevin gave me and I said he can have whatever he wants as long as he never calls me by that name again so fine they all had drinks and bfast and away they went.
I should probably mention he came in with a guy aka Cody who is super cute and has a big truck and a very cool, very fast sled ( found that out later on in the day) so me and this guy start flirting pretty good at 9am hahaha
I go through my day pretty good, we were quite busy because of the rally that was happening but all in all pretty good day (I was very hung-over from the night before) so before I know it Tornado da Slednecks roll in again for drinks and food. Again me and Cody start flirting pretty good so he invites me to come with them and I decline cause I’m working….. Goose said that we should all start drinking so that when they come back we can be on sort of the same level as them cuz if you aren’t they just piss you off hahaha I also showered before they all rolled back in about an hour and half later, this time I come into the bar from the restaurant and Kory and crew are on one side of the bar and Cody is behind the bar attempting to make drinks hahaha so I ask them what’s happening and Kory pipes up we came back to see you with his stupid little grin and that laugh that gets me every time (Cody is still behind the bar with me at this point) I get them all drinks and shots however whilst I’m making these Cody picks me up and ya just holds me in his arms for a minute or two and puts me back down hahahaha it was crazy. Goose told me later that Kory was shooting Cody dirty looks the whole time cuz he did it more than once and really Kory needs to calm down, I realize they are kind of buddies or know each other at least but you don’t want a relationship so I’m gonna be single and do what I wanna do and makes me happy so whatever I kinda stopped working once they all rolled back in cuz I wanted to drink (which I did a lot of ) and go for a ride on a couple sleds (which I did twice hahaha)
So to make a long, fuzzy story short I stayed overnight in the cabin with Cody and woke up in the am to leave only to meet Kory in the living room cause he slept on the couch and ya so I’m pretty sure he knew what happened between me and Cody cause they all came to the restaurant for bfast about 10 min after I got there and Kory wouldn’t even look at me.
And you know what…? I don’t feel bad….I mean maybe a little cause we were supposed to go sledding this weekend but whatever its not my fault its his and shit happens hahaha
OMG I totally forgot to mention what pissed me off about me in the first place….he told me that he left his phone in Calgary when he went to Costa Rica but when he came in for bfast Saturday am he had it with him so why lie about something so stupid also I found him on the same online dating site I am on I mean you say you don’t want a relationship but are on that site, doesn’t really make sense to me ???? So whatever, I don’t care, I’m better than that, it’s not ok the way he treats me and I won’t stand for it.
PS – Goose said she was gonna give Cody my number and I had a missed call from an unknown number last night so if it was him , hopefully he will call again…I kinda like him and think he would be lots of fun hahaha so we will see
I worked 12 hrs a day (totally didn’t feel like it at the time), did a lot of drinking and kissed a boy and put the whole issue with Kory to bed for good (I hope so at least)
On that note, here’s how it all went down….Sunday I called and Kory to come for wings Tuesday and he was back and forth about it so whatever long story short he didn’t come , he rolled in Saturday am at like 930am with Tornado da Slednecks (what I’m calling him and his crew from now on)
anyway he rolled in probably still drunk from the night before and not two words to me oh wait that’s a lie he asked me for a drink but called me by the nickname Kevin gave me and I said he can have whatever he wants as long as he never calls me by that name again so fine they all had drinks and bfast and away they went.
I should probably mention he came in with a guy aka Cody who is super cute and has a big truck and a very cool, very fast sled ( found that out later on in the day) so me and this guy start flirting pretty good at 9am hahaha
I go through my day pretty good, we were quite busy because of the rally that was happening but all in all pretty good day (I was very hung-over from the night before) so before I know it Tornado da Slednecks roll in again for drinks and food. Again me and Cody start flirting pretty good so he invites me to come with them and I decline cause I’m working….. Goose said that we should all start drinking so that when they come back we can be on sort of the same level as them cuz if you aren’t they just piss you off hahaha I also showered before they all rolled back in about an hour and half later, this time I come into the bar from the restaurant and Kory and crew are on one side of the bar and Cody is behind the bar attempting to make drinks hahaha so I ask them what’s happening and Kory pipes up we came back to see you with his stupid little grin and that laugh that gets me every time (Cody is still behind the bar with me at this point) I get them all drinks and shots however whilst I’m making these Cody picks me up and ya just holds me in his arms for a minute or two and puts me back down hahahaha it was crazy. Goose told me later that Kory was shooting Cody dirty looks the whole time cuz he did it more than once and really Kory needs to calm down, I realize they are kind of buddies or know each other at least but you don’t want a relationship so I’m gonna be single and do what I wanna do and makes me happy so whatever I kinda stopped working once they all rolled back in cuz I wanted to drink (which I did a lot of ) and go for a ride on a couple sleds (which I did twice hahaha)
So to make a long, fuzzy story short I stayed overnight in the cabin with Cody and woke up in the am to leave only to meet Kory in the living room cause he slept on the couch and ya so I’m pretty sure he knew what happened between me and Cody cause they all came to the restaurant for bfast about 10 min after I got there and Kory wouldn’t even look at me.
And you know what…? I don’t feel bad….I mean maybe a little cause we were supposed to go sledding this weekend but whatever its not my fault its his and shit happens hahaha
OMG I totally forgot to mention what pissed me off about me in the first place….he told me that he left his phone in Calgary when he went to Costa Rica but when he came in for bfast Saturday am he had it with him so why lie about something so stupid also I found him on the same online dating site I am on I mean you say you don’t want a relationship but are on that site, doesn’t really make sense to me ???? So whatever, I don’t care, I’m better than that, it’s not ok the way he treats me and I won’t stand for it.
PS – Goose said she was gonna give Cody my number and I had a missed call from an unknown number last night so if it was him , hopefully he will call again…I kinda like him and think he would be lots of fun hahaha so we will see
January 25, 2011
Slednecks and Party Stretching
(i know its not monday morning anymore but i didnt get time to post yesterday)
I had the best weekend ever!!!
bout a month ago Kory came to visit me and we go to talking bout going sledding together, he said we should and that he would find me a sled to drive....so couple of weeks ago I was talking to him on the phone and said I wanted to hang out with him before he went on his trip(costa rica for a week, lucky duck) so he suggested I come out sledding with him and a few friends this past weekend.
I went to his farm Friday night and we just hung out and talked and watched Wayne’s World (I had never seen it and he couldn’t believe that). We got up early on Saturday and go all loaded up and headed to Jamie’s place outside of PA.
By the time we go it all together and people made it over it was about noon so we headed out...I was beyond nervous!!! but I have to say that for being sledding the first time in 10 years I did pretty good, I only kind of crashed into one little tree/bush (the snow was soft and I didn’t quite put all my weight to the one side and got a little stuck then i tried to get out and hit the tree, Kory came to save me and told me that was awesome haha)
Anyway we went to a nearby town for drinks and Chinese food and then back to Jamie’s. that night we went to a house party and Kory got drunker than I’ve ever seen him, mind you I drank a 26 of spiced rum to myself hahaha so I was in pretty fine form too hahaha however that night I kinda got some words form Lindsay (she is Jamie's gf and has know Kory for a long time) not thing bad just kinda giving me advice but more on that later.so after the party we went to stay at Lindsay’s parents place and I went straight to bed and while a few of them stayed up to have drinks, now the only reason I mention this is cause I woke up probably about a couple hours later to Kory cuddling me, which I thought was super sweet and its such a nice thing to feel cause I would have just expected him to crash on the couch or something....it was just nice and it makes me think that he feels more for me that what he lets on.....
we woke up Sunday am feeling pretty shitty but it was a beautiful day so instead of wasting it on the couch we drank some paralyzes and got loaded up to go sledding again. it was soooo much fun, we went faster and through more snow and even got lost hahaha but I’m soooo proud of myself for not getting stuck once and keeping up with them, Kory even said that night he was worried before but noticed that I went a lot faster on Sunday, so that makes me happy cause it shows him that I can hold my own on the sled.
we ended up at his buddies’ house for a lot of beer and rockband so while the boys were all playing rockband downstairs Lindsay took me upstairs and gave me some words of advice about Kory. she asked what the deal was and I said we were just good buddies so we talked about new years (not going to get into it but it wasn’t a good situation between me and Kory) anyway she told him that if he thinks something could happen between us fix the damage that had been done and if not then cut the ties so that makes me happy that he did fix it. she also told me to never text/call first and to make him think he is the farthest thing from my mind, she said if I do that then she promises he will come to me, she also mentioned don’t be needy and expect flowers or I love you calls/texts cause I guess his ex was really needy and to be honest I don’t care if he wants to go sledding with the boys or whatever and as far as the flowers go, whatever they die hahaha I get the feeling he would be a lot like my dad is as far as showing emotions would go I mean he is more likely to fill my car with gas than say I love you so I think Kory would be the same way.
So that’s that...we are friends with the occasional benefit thrown in but I’m not worried, whatever happens, happens.
I had the best weekend ever!!!
bout a month ago Kory came to visit me and we go to talking bout going sledding together, he said we should and that he would find me a sled to drive....so couple of weeks ago I was talking to him on the phone and said I wanted to hang out with him before he went on his trip(costa rica for a week, lucky duck) so he suggested I come out sledding with him and a few friends this past weekend.
I went to his farm Friday night and we just hung out and talked and watched Wayne’s World (I had never seen it and he couldn’t believe that). We got up early on Saturday and go all loaded up and headed to Jamie’s place outside of PA.
By the time we go it all together and people made it over it was about noon so we headed out...I was beyond nervous!!! but I have to say that for being sledding the first time in 10 years I did pretty good, I only kind of crashed into one little tree/bush (the snow was soft and I didn’t quite put all my weight to the one side and got a little stuck then i tried to get out and hit the tree, Kory came to save me and told me that was awesome haha)
Anyway we went to a nearby town for drinks and Chinese food and then back to Jamie’s. that night we went to a house party and Kory got drunker than I’ve ever seen him, mind you I drank a 26 of spiced rum to myself hahaha so I was in pretty fine form too hahaha however that night I kinda got some words form Lindsay (she is Jamie's gf and has know Kory for a long time) not thing bad just kinda giving me advice but more on that later.so after the party we went to stay at Lindsay’s parents place and I went straight to bed and while a few of them stayed up to have drinks, now the only reason I mention this is cause I woke up probably about a couple hours later to Kory cuddling me, which I thought was super sweet and its such a nice thing to feel cause I would have just expected him to crash on the couch or something....it was just nice and it makes me think that he feels more for me that what he lets on.....
we woke up Sunday am feeling pretty shitty but it was a beautiful day so instead of wasting it on the couch we drank some paralyzes and got loaded up to go sledding again. it was soooo much fun, we went faster and through more snow and even got lost hahaha but I’m soooo proud of myself for not getting stuck once and keeping up with them, Kory even said that night he was worried before but noticed that I went a lot faster on Sunday, so that makes me happy cause it shows him that I can hold my own on the sled.
we ended up at his buddies’ house for a lot of beer and rockband so while the boys were all playing rockband downstairs Lindsay took me upstairs and gave me some words of advice about Kory. she asked what the deal was and I said we were just good buddies so we talked about new years (not going to get into it but it wasn’t a good situation between me and Kory) anyway she told him that if he thinks something could happen between us fix the damage that had been done and if not then cut the ties so that makes me happy that he did fix it. she also told me to never text/call first and to make him think he is the farthest thing from my mind, she said if I do that then she promises he will come to me, she also mentioned don’t be needy and expect flowers or I love you calls/texts cause I guess his ex was really needy and to be honest I don’t care if he wants to go sledding with the boys or whatever and as far as the flowers go, whatever they die hahaha I get the feeling he would be a lot like my dad is as far as showing emotions would go I mean he is more likely to fill my car with gas than say I love you so I think Kory would be the same way.
So that’s that...we are friends with the occasional benefit thrown in but I’m not worried, whatever happens, happens.
You are where you are because that’s where you are meant to be
November 16, 2009
Monday Morning Confessions
Wow what a whirlwind weekend…amazing but soooo busy.
Friday = took off to Stoon after work and got there bout 8pm and after having a couple red bulls on the 2hr drive, I was ready to do some dancing so I got all dressed up in my boots and jeans and my lil white tank top and we were off. We went to the “twig”, there was a band (who were not bad) but it wasn’t really busy but I still managed to two-step to a few songs but weren’t really feeling it so we took off to “whiskey J’s” and listened to some bad karaoke and watched some even worse dancing and after a quick lil trip to subway, we headed home.
Saturday = I had a great lunch with Mel and took my wonderful but expensive sweat pants into get hemmed so I can wear them on the plane to Mexico (7 more weeks !!) then around 3 I headed back to regina. By the time I got back my friends here were ready to head out on the town so I went with Dani and Jill to “H” and did nothing but dance. I didn’t even talk to any guys, I just needed to dance out my troubles (nothing major as of late but it felt good just the same) it was great we came together and left together after a 3am bfast.
Sunday = hung out at home for the better part of the day but I did got to Sam’s and visit with Mel and Lindsay so it was good to see Mel and Lindsay again but awkward at the same time (me and Lindsay have never really gotten along), I got my things together to start making my Christmas cards for this year and went to bed early.
im very happy I got to see Brandy this weekend, I didn’t realize how much I missed her or how long its really been since ive seen her (4months) I think that’s the longest we’ve ever gone.
Friday = took off to Stoon after work and got there bout 8pm and after having a couple red bulls on the 2hr drive, I was ready to do some dancing so I got all dressed up in my boots and jeans and my lil white tank top and we were off. We went to the “twig”, there was a band (who were not bad) but it wasn’t really busy but I still managed to two-step to a few songs but weren’t really feeling it so we took off to “whiskey J’s” and listened to some bad karaoke and watched some even worse dancing and after a quick lil trip to subway, we headed home.
Saturday = I had a great lunch with Mel and took my wonderful but expensive sweat pants into get hemmed so I can wear them on the plane to Mexico (7 more weeks !!) then around 3 I headed back to regina. By the time I got back my friends here were ready to head out on the town so I went with Dani and Jill to “H” and did nothing but dance. I didn’t even talk to any guys, I just needed to dance out my troubles (nothing major as of late but it felt good just the same) it was great we came together and left together after a 3am bfast.
Sunday = hung out at home for the better part of the day but I did got to Sam’s and visit with Mel and Lindsay so it was good to see Mel and Lindsay again but awkward at the same time (me and Lindsay have never really gotten along), I got my things together to start making my Christmas cards for this year and went to bed early.
im very happy I got to see Brandy this weekend, I didn’t realize how much I missed her or how long its really been since ive seen her (4months) I think that’s the longest we’ve ever gone.
October 26, 2009
monday morning confessions
Well what an interesting weekend….this bullshit with James has got to stop !!! I know that I said I was ok with it but im not and let me tell you why.
At 230 am on Saturday, I got a phone call from him that went a little something like this:
Him = come to the bar
Me= no its 230 im not coming
Him = well if you don't come we cant make out
Me = we aren't gonna make out anyway
(I don't think he heard me) Him = if you don't come we cant cuddle
Me = last time we did that you said it was a mistake
Him = well ive thought a lot about it since then and I think we should sit down and talk alone
Me = ok well if you wanna talk you can call me in the morning
That was it or so I thought…I got another phone call after that and it was pretty similar convo to the first and then another phone call about ½ hour after the second one and that one I just let ring. I found out the next day that he ran into a friend of mine so that's probably what prompted the calls. I dunno what he is sudden need to talk was all about but enough is enough, I need to get in touch with him and not at 3 in the morning and just lay it all out on the line and its all or nothing cause I cant do this with him anymore. For the record, he never called me yesterday but I did call a couple times last night but it just rang and then went to voicemail, I didn't leave a message.
October 19, 2009
monday morning confessions
i was a very good girl over the weekend.
fri= not much happend, although my roomate added Kyle to her fbook and he accepted and so i creeped and learned a few things about him...a) he likes to fish b) he likes to hunt c) he has a big big truck for 4-wheeling d)he smokes e) he is 2 years younger than i am f) he has a puppy....OMG sooo cute in all his pics and ya i think i like him even more now for the hunting and fishing :) not a fan of the smoking but that is something that can be changed
sat= me and Sam went out to the local "country" bar and i say it like that for a reason, i'm soooo not impressed with the quality of the music. they did have a country band but in between sets they played rap and rock and all that bullshit...this is why i looooove the "twig", the only non-country song they play is crazy bitch at 130 am on a saturday night. although the night wasnt a total waste, i did two-step with a very cute irish guy, loooving the accent anyway we danced, talked a little, gave him my number and called it a night. i didnt even kiss him :) which im really proud of, another step in the right direction :)
so ya we will see if he calls or not and im not really expecting him to and im ok with it if he dosent its just nice to get out there.
fri= not much happend, although my roomate added Kyle to her fbook and he accepted and so i creeped and learned a few things about him...a) he likes to fish b) he likes to hunt c) he has a big big truck for 4-wheeling d)he smokes e) he is 2 years younger than i am f) he has a puppy....OMG sooo cute in all his pics and ya i think i like him even more now for the hunting and fishing :) not a fan of the smoking but that is something that can be changed
sat= me and Sam went out to the local "country" bar and i say it like that for a reason, i'm soooo not impressed with the quality of the music. they did have a country band but in between sets they played rap and rock and all that bullshit...this is why i looooove the "twig", the only non-country song they play is crazy bitch at 130 am on a saturday night. although the night wasnt a total waste, i did two-step with a very cute irish guy, loooving the accent anyway we danced, talked a little, gave him my number and called it a night. i didnt even kiss him :) which im really proud of, another step in the right direction :)
so ya we will see if he calls or not and im not really expecting him to and im ok with it if he dosent its just nice to get out there.
October 05, 2009
monday morning confessions
i am very proud of myself for my actions this past weekend. i went out with a few friends on saturday night and got drunk to just let go of all the stress in my life as of late and being hit on and thus making out with this guy. we danced and whatever hung out all night and then at the end of the night i left with him...now you are probally wondering whats the difference between this any other time she has left with a guy well let me tell you...we get to his place and are making out on his bed and it was like a light went off and i realized that i could either stay and follow through with what we all know was gonna happen or i could remove myself and walk away from yet another mistake so thats what i did...i said i need to leave so he called me a cab and i went home and woke up feeling like crap (cuz of drinking so much) but mentally and emotionally i felt pretty damm good.
i did think of calling H or JD but i didnt so i feel pretty good about where im at with all this, now this is just one time in a long line of mistakes but at least its a start and the truth will be seen if i go out and drink and whatever again and remove myself which im pretty sure i will do cause once i make my mind up about something there is no talking me out of it.
i did think of calling H or JD but i didnt so i feel pretty good about where im at with all this, now this is just one time in a long line of mistakes but at least its a start and the truth will be seen if i go out and drink and whatever again and remove myself which im pretty sure i will do cause once i make my mind up about something there is no talking me out of it.
September 20, 2009
midnight musings
i'm staying at SM's house tonight cuz her man is gone to a party and she dosent like to stay alone so i'm babysitting so to speak but it has been fun, we are just getting read for bed so i thought i would stop and update ya'll on whats been going on in the last couple days.
last night JD texted me for a couple hours, just basic what are you up to bullshit and i am sorry to say but i did answer him back mainly one word answers but even still and so tonight again the what are u up to texts started around 1130 so i know he's drinking but this is bullshit, we agreed to be friends so just leave it at that, i dont text my friends at random hours on the weekend, i talk to them durning normal hours and durning the week and so as much as he thinks last weekend was a mistake i think he's keeping my on the backburner for something else but whatever its all or nothing with him and i'm staying strong on that one.
i havent heard from D since our date, well thats a lie (i dont know why i just did that) he texted me fri afternoon and again tonight but i dont think i'm that into to him. i dunno i think i need a break from it all cause the best things happen when your not looking right??? whatever i mean i feel a little bad but thats just how i feel.
so on to something that isnt related to guys and all the bullshit that comes with that...i messed up my shoulder, i went for a massage today cause the pain kept me up all last night and the girl who did my massage said that all the sitting at this new job and whatever could have caused it so now here i sit with an ice pack on my shoulder and i can already feel that its gonna be sore tomorrow.
well thats all i got for you for now...i'm off to bed so till next time....
last night JD texted me for a couple hours, just basic what are you up to bullshit and i am sorry to say but i did answer him back mainly one word answers but even still and so tonight again the what are u up to texts started around 1130 so i know he's drinking but this is bullshit, we agreed to be friends so just leave it at that, i dont text my friends at random hours on the weekend, i talk to them durning normal hours and durning the week and so as much as he thinks last weekend was a mistake i think he's keeping my on the backburner for something else but whatever its all or nothing with him and i'm staying strong on that one.
i havent heard from D since our date, well thats a lie (i dont know why i just did that) he texted me fri afternoon and again tonight but i dont think i'm that into to him. i dunno i think i need a break from it all cause the best things happen when your not looking right??? whatever i mean i feel a little bad but thats just how i feel.
so on to something that isnt related to guys and all the bullshit that comes with that...i messed up my shoulder, i went for a massage today cause the pain kept me up all last night and the girl who did my massage said that all the sitting at this new job and whatever could have caused it so now here i sit with an ice pack on my shoulder and i can already feel that its gonna be sore tomorrow.
well thats all i got for you for now...i'm off to bed so till next time....
June 16, 2009
Monday Confessions
I know its Tuesday and not Monday confessions but whatever I don’t have a computer and in 2 and ½ days I wont be near one on a daily occurrence so the blogs might get a little long but I will try and keep ya’ll updated every few days….
This past weekend I went out of town to one of my very best friend’s shower/stagette. It was really nice to see and catch up with some people I haven’t really seen since I started dating C like 3 years ago….and then there were some people I could go without seeing for the rest of my life like my blast from the past…H!
oh that’s right he rolled up to the combined stag/stagette even though he isn’t really close to either my friend or the guy she is marrying….anyway we were all sitting around the fire drinking and having a good time and its getting later in the evening so I’m cold so me and L(my friends husband to be) go get our coats and H follows us and is all like oh lets talk, oh I miss you, blah blah blah…in all the bullshit that has gone in the last few months its nice to know something’s never change….like the fact that H tells me get has a new truck (big deal to farm kids) and asks if I want to go for a ride and to this day I’m pretty proud that I said no and walked away from him (we started dating shortly after I took a ride in his last truck) we also joked about how we will probably end up together when its all said and done….
When he first showed up at the party I had a mini panic attack and why I’m not really sure cause after talking to him I know there is nothing there in terms of attraction anymore but I dunno I guess cause he was all the major firsts for me (except kiss that was a bull rider from a small town near S) I dunno what it is about H that makes me panic well not really panic just get nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach maybe cause there is so much history there….seeing him felt a little like validation in that I may not be where I wanted to be at 24 but I am certainly not the same person I was when I was 16 or even 19 for that matter (we first met when I was 16 and started dating at 19)
Another little tid-bit of new that happened over the weekend into yesterday is that MO was texting me all Saturday night (while I’m dealing with H) and was like we have to get together before I leave for the summer….so yesterday he texted me at like 730 asking if I wanted to hang out and watch a movie and I wasn’t doing anything important so I said ok….10pm rolls around and he shows up (he was texting me the whole time cuz random stuff came up that he had to do so whatever) anyway he works at 6 every day it wasn’t a long visit but he asked if we could hang out tonight so he said he would text me when he gets off work at like 630-700 so ya I guess I will just see where it all goes…I mean we have fun together and there were no awkward silences it was just comfortable but I mean come on I have 2 and ½ days left…..
Well that was a lot of information to get out in a blog but get used to it cause this is what’s it’s gonna be like until I get a computer again and blog day by day….
This past weekend I went out of town to one of my very best friend’s shower/stagette. It was really nice to see and catch up with some people I haven’t really seen since I started dating C like 3 years ago….and then there were some people I could go without seeing for the rest of my life like my blast from the past…H!
oh that’s right he rolled up to the combined stag/stagette even though he isn’t really close to either my friend or the guy she is marrying….anyway we were all sitting around the fire drinking and having a good time and its getting later in the evening so I’m cold so me and L(my friends husband to be) go get our coats and H follows us and is all like oh lets talk, oh I miss you, blah blah blah…in all the bullshit that has gone in the last few months its nice to know something’s never change….like the fact that H tells me get has a new truck (big deal to farm kids) and asks if I want to go for a ride and to this day I’m pretty proud that I said no and walked away from him (we started dating shortly after I took a ride in his last truck) we also joked about how we will probably end up together when its all said and done….
When he first showed up at the party I had a mini panic attack and why I’m not really sure cause after talking to him I know there is nothing there in terms of attraction anymore but I dunno I guess cause he was all the major firsts for me (except kiss that was a bull rider from a small town near S) I dunno what it is about H that makes me panic well not really panic just get nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach maybe cause there is so much history there….seeing him felt a little like validation in that I may not be where I wanted to be at 24 but I am certainly not the same person I was when I was 16 or even 19 for that matter (we first met when I was 16 and started dating at 19)
Another little tid-bit of new that happened over the weekend into yesterday is that MO was texting me all Saturday night (while I’m dealing with H) and was like we have to get together before I leave for the summer….so yesterday he texted me at like 730 asking if I wanted to hang out and watch a movie and I wasn’t doing anything important so I said ok….10pm rolls around and he shows up (he was texting me the whole time cuz random stuff came up that he had to do so whatever) anyway he works at 6 every day it wasn’t a long visit but he asked if we could hang out tonight so he said he would text me when he gets off work at like 630-700 so ya I guess I will just see where it all goes…I mean we have fun together and there were no awkward silences it was just comfortable but I mean come on I have 2 and ½ days left…..
Well that was a lot of information to get out in a blog but get used to it cause this is what’s it’s gonna be like until I get a computer again and blog day by day….
May 25, 2009
Monday Confessions
So you know how I had this huge crush on RK well that’s all over with. MB, AH and I all went out a cabaret on Saturday and he was there but was hitting on this other girl all night and kind of didn’t really want anything to do with me so whatever I drank and danced the night away even ran into a few people I hadn’t seen in a really long time like MO but more on that later.
Towards the end of the night AG comes up to me and says that he knows what happened between me and RK and starts to tell me that the next day when everyone asked him what happened he said nothing, now I didn’t really want him to go bragging about it but why lie and say nothing happened so whatever … so I tell AG that I felt really bad about how it all went down when he was putting in all the work and being all nice and hitting on me then RK just swoops and and takes over like, he said that its just the way he is; however he then tells me that RK told him that it was payback for AG doing the same thing to him like 2 months ago or something !!! I was so fucking pissed!! I mean why be like that? I’m soooo mad that I got played like that. Its just bullshit!!! Whatever so that put a real quick end to my crush on RK, I don’t need that kind of drama and games in my life right now so what did I end up doing…taking AG home for the night and one little bonus to that is that I get to go go-carting on Sunday cause I have never been and he offered to take me J
This brings me to another point; I woke up Sunday morning feeling pretty low and bad about how things have gotten out of control with my behavior. I have been with 6 guys since my breakup and I don’t know why. I think I drink so that I don’t have to deal with the fact that CS has a new gf and then drinking leads to the bad choices I have been making…I don’t know its just hard to be alone and I really do think that I am trying to fill that void that I still have in my life…I need to stop and think and stop trying…I just feel so lost with it all. I thought I was doing alright but B said that I need to have huge reality check cause this can’t continue because I will never find what I want or need.
Now all about MO….We went on a couple dates back when I was going to university and that was it until one day I was creeping on facebook and found him and added him as a friend…we exchanged numbers and are going to go for drinks to catch up and remember old times, he has a gf but I’m glad that I can him back in my life cause I thought were really good together and can be great friends.
Towards the end of the night AG comes up to me and says that he knows what happened between me and RK and starts to tell me that the next day when everyone asked him what happened he said nothing, now I didn’t really want him to go bragging about it but why lie and say nothing happened so whatever … so I tell AG that I felt really bad about how it all went down when he was putting in all the work and being all nice and hitting on me then RK just swoops and and takes over like, he said that its just the way he is; however he then tells me that RK told him that it was payback for AG doing the same thing to him like 2 months ago or something !!! I was so fucking pissed!! I mean why be like that? I’m soooo mad that I got played like that. Its just bullshit!!! Whatever so that put a real quick end to my crush on RK, I don’t need that kind of drama and games in my life right now so what did I end up doing…taking AG home for the night and one little bonus to that is that I get to go go-carting on Sunday cause I have never been and he offered to take me J
This brings me to another point; I woke up Sunday morning feeling pretty low and bad about how things have gotten out of control with my behavior. I have been with 6 guys since my breakup and I don’t know why. I think I drink so that I don’t have to deal with the fact that CS has a new gf and then drinking leads to the bad choices I have been making…I don’t know its just hard to be alone and I really do think that I am trying to fill that void that I still have in my life…I need to stop and think and stop trying…I just feel so lost with it all. I thought I was doing alright but B said that I need to have huge reality check cause this can’t continue because I will never find what I want or need.
Now all about MO….We went on a couple dates back when I was going to university and that was it until one day I was creeping on facebook and found him and added him as a friend…we exchanged numbers and are going to go for drinks to catch up and remember old times, he has a gf but I’m glad that I can him back in my life cause I thought were really good together and can be great friends.
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