one month

i've been having a hard couple of days...its been a month today that my life did a complete 180...it still hurts and i still miss him but then there are days that i'm ok. i thought i was strong but now i'm not so sure...i've been trying to get out there and meet people but i dunno i still feel so broken at times. maybe its just cause of today that i'm feeling like this or the fear of seeing him tomarrow at sugarland (we bought tickets the saturday before we broke up, me and B got different ones so its not like we are sitting together) or the fact that i wish he was hurting as much as me and that i cant see that he is...i'm still really angry and hurt as to why he felt like he couldnt keep me in his life and i dunno its sooo hard just to be in the city without him...i mean i lived in the city for 3 months before we met then we were together for 3 years living together both and in out of the city...i try to not do things and go places that i will be reminded of him but its still hard...i think i need to start doing more to not think so much...like joining a gym or club or something just to stay super busy instead of going home after work and just vegging on the couch with chips and bad tv...we will see how the show goes tomarrow and i will write again after the weekend....