life after you

i always try and tittle my posts after songs...this one is by daughtry (kinda of addicted to them as of late)

anyway....i have given online dating another shot and i have a crush !!!
let's call him.. B-Rye..so we have been talking on this online dating site and i realized that he is friends with or knows my "friend" Amanda (we arent really that close i know her through Mel) so whatever last night i went bowling with JL and then we met Brandy and Chantel at whisky jd's and i spot him from across the room so i kinda go stand over by where he is sitting hoping he will notice me but he dosent so im just standing there kinda creepy like hahaha anyway long story short Chantel went over to him (cause im a chicken shit even drunk lol) we talk and exchanged numbers and i totally creeped on his fbook and i really think i could like him so i hope he will call :)

thats all for today so im just gonna leave you with a pic of me that i picniked...enjoy

never mind me

so yesterday after Troy left Joelle asked me if i really felt awkward around him and i said kinda but i think i always will to a certain extent which makes me sad cause i always felt me and Troy were pretty good friends so she said that Troy kinda feels the same way and is kinda nervous to be around me b/c of what the ex said to him (second last paragraph) anyway i said this is bullshit, me and TL had some really good talks back in the day and its dumb cause its almost a year later Troy still feels like he needs to be careful around it all....the ex wasnt careful when he cheated and was with her two weeks after we broke up although Joelle did say that the ex asks Troy about me which is weird why the fuck would he care??? he dosent get to know those things anymore, he made that choice and he has to live with it cause it will be a cold cold day in hell before i ever forgive him for hurting me like that and there is no way that i will ever be friends with him (sorry little bitterness came out there)


anyway i wanted to write and give a little explanation for my blues the last few days, ive decided that next time Troy is around im gonna say this is dumb there is no reason we cant be kinda friends or whatever....im gonna be in Joelle's life and therefore in some weird way in his so he needs to get over whatever awkwardness there is with the ex

sex and the city wisedom

there is a scene in an epsidoe of sex and the city where carrie someone breaks up with carrie and she still wants to be friends with them and miranda dosesnt agree with that she says something along the lines of...
"we loved, it didnt work out i need you to not exsit"

i think thats how i feel, i am aware the ex is living in stoon but i dont need to hear about it or even run into him and if i do i feel like im given every right to turn and walk the other way even if he has seen me. i relize that i should be a stronger person almost a year after the fact but screw that he lied, cheated and then lied about cheating. i do belive that im not bitter and angry anymore and maybe all these feelings have just been brought about b/c Troy is visiting in any case.....

"we loved, it didnt work out i need you to not exsit"

song for the lonely

im lonely.

i dont miss the ex but i miss having someone there at the end of the day.

this past weekend i went to Sam's staggette/shower and found out that another friend is engaged and another one got engaged while on a trip to mexico. im not jealous, i soooo happy for the both of them but they both have been with their guys for at least a year and i dunno i just feel like i wasted time with the ex...maybe this is all coming to ahead b/c here i am 25 and with nothing going really. i mean i have no job, no man, nothing....

im sad.


When you're standing on the edge of nowhere
There's only one way up
So your heart's got to go there

Through the darkest night

See the light shine bright

GOD BLESS CANADA

i get that the olympics being in vancouver this year is a big deal for canada but i have never been more proud to be from this great country as i was when i was watching this video, that sounds weird but it really sums it all up what kind of people we are....

down the rabbit hole

so i cant remember a time when i was more excited to see a movie in my life.....

Alice in Wonderland comes out march 5th and im soooooooo excited !!!!!
I totally downloaded the soundtrack last night and its is in a word AWESOME !!!! there is music by shinedown (her name is alice), the all american rejects (poison) and grace potter (white rabbit)....i was out shopping today and even bought a super cool shirt to wear to the movie

i dont know how well you can see it but it's really cool, its black and blue anway ever since i saw the teaser trailer when it came out and then the amazing version syfy did , i have been dying to see this movie !!! i even bought the orginal story to read in prep....