Not ready

Sorry I haven’t written for awhile but I’ve been busy with work and stuff (we have exams and such going on) and well not much was happening in my life….but last week I went to a co-worker’s mother’s funeral and well it just brought back all those feelings of when my Baba passed away (it was a year on the 14th of this month). It just made me realize that I haven’t dealt with all of those feelings and even now I don’t think I’m ready to face it all.

I think that’s all I’m going to say because with anything the more you talk or write and try to get your feelings out the more you ramble and repeat the same emotion over and over again.

I’m just not ready to deal….

Thinking.....

This past weekend I went out with my BFF(best friend) and had the best time ever…we always have a great time but this time was different. I was hurting even before I went out for the night and tried to drink the bar, my BF(boyfriend) of 3 years told me this past Tuesday that he isn’t sure he wants to get married and not just to me like ever at all...I was crushed.
Why be in a relationship to just be in a relationship? I don’t want a ring tomorrow, next month or even next year but I want the commitment to commit; I would like to know that something that I’ve invested time and deep feelings into will end happily ever after.
I told my BFF and my other very close friend about this (they have been there since the beginning of everything), they were both in shock and say that I should talk to him but I just keep thinking what I will do if the worst happens. I’m sorry that this blog is all over the place but I just feel really drained thinking about this all weekend and I’m very tired today and I don’t know how to deal with this all.

Under the weather

So this week I am back to work and with that comes early mornings, way too much coffee and late nights with late suppers to get back into the groove of everything thing. Late nights and early mornings mean not enough sleep which is quite a shock to the system after two whole weeks of sleeping till 11 or later (new years day I slept till 1pm LOL) anyway with no sleep comes being tired..
my facebook status yesterday was “I’m tired of being tired” well all this lack of sleep has started to catch up with me. I’m getting a cold. The achy bones, the sore throat, tired eyes and the general feeling of getting run over by a big truck, as I write this I am sitting at my desk with peppermint tea instead of the usual 2 cups of coffee (not that the same time haha). The worst part of all is that I want to go out tomorrow cause it will be the first time going out in the city since my BFF bday, which was back in November so we are long overdue for a Twig (nickname for the local country bar)night. I am going to fight like nothing else to get rid of this thing somewhat and maybe cure it tomorrow with some of my favorite men, jack and José and the musical styling’s of Tim, Keith, Kenny, and of course the great Garth.

Well back to it I guess before I get fired again…

New Record

Yesterday we set at new record in my city of -40.

The temperature bottomed out at -41.1 C early Sunday. That's the coldest Jan. 4 in the 114 years of recorded temperatures for the city. It broke the old record of -40.0 set in 1966.
(Written in the local paper this morning)

However, not knowing it would be this cold Sunday, me and my boyfriend went out Saturday night and left my car overnight at a friend’s house. Yesterday he went to the same friends to watch football (his team, the eagles, won) and the car wouldn’t start so after being off work for two weeks (I work at a school) I had to get up at 6 am to drive across town literally to try and start my car (thankfully it started no problem, it was plugged in all night) then drive to the other side of town to make it to work on time.

All and all it has been a trying day so far so I’m going to try and get through till the end of the day with a few cups of coffee and a yummy cafeteria lunch.

Cowboy is his Name

(This is the poem recited by Cody Lambert in the movie 8 Seconds.It is part of Baxter Black's "Legacy of the Rodeo Man.") 

There's a hundred years of history
and a hundred before that
All gathered in the thinkin'
Goin' on beneath this hat.

The cold flame burns within him
'Til his skin's as cold as ice
And the dues he paid to get here
Are worth every sacrifice.

All the miles spend sleepy drivin'
All the money down the drain,
All the 'if I's' and 'nearly's,'
All the bandages and pain,

All the female tears left dryin',
All the fever and the fight
Are just a small down payment
On the ride he makes tonight.

It's guts and love and glory,
One mortal's chance at fame.
His legacy is rodeo
And cowboy is his name.

Things i love ....

1. Coors Light on a hot summer day (or any day really)...mmm mmm good

2. Jeffery Dean Morgan in PS. I love you....love the accent thing he has going on...not a big fan of him as a ghost on Grey's...it's a bit weird

3. GARTH BROOKS = i have every song he ever sang on my ipod as well as the second box set and the dvd video library...if he ever goes on tour again i would sell my car to see him

I'm going to keep adding to this list as time goes on but its just to show you another side of me

Walk the Fire

So my boyfriend  watches the tv show The Unit and I’m really loving the theme song…it’s called Walk the Fire by Robert Duncan…it’s only about 8 lines but it’s awesome…seriously youtube it

Give me your secrets

Bring me a sign

Give me a reason

To walk the fire

See another dawn

Through your daughter's eyes

You give me a reason

To walk the fire

Other than that little bit of randomness I really have nothing for you so I will leave for the night cause its just after 11 pm local time and I’m tired….not sure why I didn’t work today but I got up at like 8 which was a nice change from 1 pm yesterday (new year’s day so take that into account)

Later

Happy 2009 !!!

so last night was new years eve and to all who are reading this Happy New Year....hope 2009 brings you all that you need and more....

well with new years eve comes parties and with that comes drinking and well last night was drinking homemade wine...2 and 1/2 bottles latter it is kicking me in the ass so i'm not writting too much mainly cause it's just after 7 pm local time and i still feel horrible but i wanted to check in and say Happy New Year and see you later