You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.

Elizabeth Taylor

“There’s something very freeing about losing the anchors that have always defined you. Frightening, sad, but exhilarating in a poignant way, as well. You’re free to float to the moon and evaporate or sink to the bottom of the deepest ocean. But you’re also free to explore. Some people confuse that with drifting, I suppose. I like to think of it as growing.”

low

you dont know how far down you can go.....until you are crying in the shower at 6am on a tues....

“There’s something very freeing about losing the anchors that have always defined you. Frightening, sad, but exhilarating in a poignant way, as well. You’re free to float to the moon and evaporate or sink to the bottom of the deepest ocean. But you’re also free to explore. Some people confuse that with drifting, I suppose. I like to think of it as growing.”

Colors of Happy

have you heard of Pintrest ????
if you havent you need to go there .... NOW !!!


anyway ive been on there the last couple days and i found something pretty cool and creative....a crayon canvas....there are lots of different versions and ways to do it but its basically a box of crayola crayons ( they work the best, or so ive read), a blank canvas, hot glue and a hair dryer.

 first arange your crayons anyway way you want....i chose to color group them

 next hot glue them down...try to line the ends up with the edge of your canvas

 put a garbage bag down in case of splatter....then set your hair dryer to hot and high (low would work to but it would take a lot longer)

keep going heating them up untill you are happy with the results.....this is mine :)

BREAKING NEWS:.The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On, and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get the Hell Over It. Any complaints about how we operate, forward em to 1-800-waa-aaah with Dr. Whogivzadamn Reporting LIVE from Quitchur Bitchin'. If you like this, repost it. If you don't...suck it up sunshine! Life doesn't revolve around you.

country girl shake it for me

summer update

so im sorry i havent posted much lately but ive been out there busy living the single life for the summer...and i love it !!! no drama no stress....its AWESOME

i will fill ya'll in later on in the summer when things get a little more calmed down till then i will post a few pics :)



gotta love my job :)

#68

MIA

i know i havent written lately but i havent had much to write about or have really wanted to remember for that matter.
i will try and be better. i think it will be hard though cuz i have 3 days left in the city and then im lake bound for the summer and im more than excited :)

went to Regina at the begining of the month and saw James, we talked kinda and hes going through some big stuff and thats ok thats life but i think it will be ok with us even if we never get together as a couple cuz i really do consider him an amazing friend and im not worried when it comes to him

Kory still isnt speaking to me and people are starting to ask why and i have no idea what to tell them anymore but i said to Amanda maybe he wants to fix it and whatever but its just gone so long that he dosent know what to say or if i will even forgive him for treating me like this cuz i catch him looking at me when im around so who knows but dont worry i will keep ya'll updated haha

kicked it off right

well as the title of this post states...i kicked off what is going to be the best summer ever right this past long weekend (well for me it was an extra long weekend as i took friday off)
ive been more than excited about this past weekend for awhile now and you could tell if you saw me doing 120 out of town downing red bull like it was going out of style hahaha
made it to the lake with time to spare, met Steph for a beer at the lounge and then we hung out all night, bbqed and just spent some quality friend time together although i did find out they made a shooter list for the weekend and had my shot on it and even named it after me ... smasha !!! how freaking cool is that ??? !!!! (i posted a pic of the shooter list on my photoblog so check it out there) we couldnt make it however cause we ran out of stuff but more on that later...
fri am me and Steph went on the boat with Brett, Shayne, Kory, Katie and Nolan. me and Steph were in Kory's boat who by the way i hung out with for like 5 hrs and didnt say two words to me so i made a good choice on my part and deleted him from fbook cause we dont speak in person so why would we speak on there...im done with all when it comes to him cause i dont need people like that in my life who treat me like that...even Steph was like WTF is up his ass when it comes to you???
anyway i had to work fri night and OMG we got swamped !!! we ran out of captians, vodka and everything to make shots with and pretty much all beer so ya it was lots of fun hahaha NOT ! i didnt get out of the bar till around 430 am but i made 300 bucks in tips so i cant really complain. i had to work sat am which sucked but i then had sat night off so it was alright hahaha i got super smashed sat night and ended up going to Brett's place in Kory's truck (hahaha random)
sunday was a blur of sitting on the beach, sitting on the golf course deck and the lounge deck all the while drinking some nice cold beer hahaha but i must say even though i had to work sunday night i had the best time ever !!! it wasnt super busy and i was working the beer tub and after we closed down the staff just had a dance party hahahaha
so ya i gotta say best may long weekend ever !!! and if that was any indication of the way summer is gonna be well im in for one hell of a good time !!!

smasha out :)

all kinds of delicious

oh what a weekend !

what an amazing weekend to kick off what is gonna be an AWESOME summer at the lake !

fri - not that eventful but i did bond with Katie (one of the new girls in the lounge) she is sooo super cool, i think we are going to be great friends (hahaha how very after school special of me haha)

sat - i didnt have to work this weekend so i slept in, laid on the beach (yes it was that nice), checked on the cabin, went for a drive around the lake...big day if ya ask me hahaha anyway i started drinking at like 5 and just kept on going. it was one of the best nights ive ever had in the lounge, the staff was just as smashed as the customers hahaha and me and Katie got our dance on and then some hahaha
Kory left with a girl and came back with her for breaky the next day and so thats twice if we are keeping score....i have a feeling its gonna be a saturday night/sunday morning regular thing throughout the summer but whatever im AWESOME and its gonna be an AWESOME summer wait check that its gonna be and AWESOME single summer !!

im just soooo beyond excited for it to get started and to be up there full time...this weekend is may long so it should be busy and amazing :)

speak of the devil

i know i havent written anything lately and for that im sorry.
i havent felt much like writing and explaining whats going on in my life.

 the lake was...well the lake...i got drunk, mad bad choices and saw things i didnt wanna see in regards to Kory.

i went on a date with a boy.
it was a good date, hes a sweet guy, he opened the truck door for me and everything.
i know he would be good to just as the bouncer would have been (not sure if i mentioned him but its in the past or at the twig on a random thurs night) but i just dont think im ready to give him what he wants from me in terms of time and emotions.


last night i was on fb round 1030 and who do i start talking to...James!!

its so funny with him, i just dont know what to think or how to feel anymore. my feelings for him have NOT changed in the last 5 yrs and i think he knows that. he asked if i was still in Regina and i said not im back in Stoon since last january and i said why? ya miss me? ( i was totally kidding around) he said yes i do, i told him to take a day off and come visit cause i missed him too and he said maybe this weekend....so thats where it stands with him as far as right now....
we do this. we come together for a bit then part then come back together and i know he wants a wife and the farm and the whole package and if it wasnt for australia i would jump in head first with both feet and not think twice cause i want that all too but i cant change what i want just cause he breezes back into my life after a year and a half.

i will keep you updated....

funk

i must say that ever since my last post ive been in a funk.

im not really sure how it happened.
i used to think i was awesome and i still do but not to the extent i did.

i miss it.

i had so much fun before.
i was so much more fun.

i want it back.
im gonna get it back !

starting tomorrow .....
(im back at the lake for 10 days so im sure i will have a story or two before weeks end...)

you cant change what you dont acknowledge

ive hit a brick wall.
i need to stop drinking.
im not a good person when i drink.
im scared that if i dont stop, something bad will happen.

i feel like im on the edge of cliff and im so beyond scared to jump that i feel i will be stuck on the edge forever. i need to change this. i need to jump.

i want a good realtionship but i feel like i dont deserve that because i didnt appreciate my realtionship with the ex for what it was.

i need to stop.
stop drinking
stop sleeping around
stop running
just stop

acknowledging it is the first step......right?

Let love be the reason. Let love be your drive. Let love fill you with power and the authentic purpose of being who you really are. Let love heal the hurts and inspire your actions. Let love fill your thoughts with goodness and your intentions with kindness. Let love brighten every corner of your world. Let love live within you, and spread beauty through all you do. Let love be, with all you have and all you are.

Ladies, be honest with yourself about who you are and have the courage to be that person. If you want to fuck, then go fuck. If you want to get drunk, get drunk. And there is nothing wrong with sucking a dick. If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people. Tell them to lick the dark part of your ass, and then cut them out of your life. No on has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you're aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and shitheads is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple. –Tucker Max

good to be me....

i had yet another amazing weekend at the lake.

i went up friday night, got smashed and made $125 in tips.
went on a beer run saturday, worked that night, got smashed again and stayed the night in a bed with Kylie and Brett with Kory sleeping on top of a bunkbed.
worked sunday then got smashed in shack with my boss and two other people and then decided it was time that me and Kory fix things.
i txted him and said that i wanted to talk to him and he said ya but there is always people around so i suggested we go for a drive, he agreed...so i picked him up and we drove around....i apologized for what happend with me and Cody and he said dont worry about, save your sorrys for something sad...he told me that he thought i was mad at him, i told him that i valued our friendship and that i wanted to keep in my life as a friend, he agreed and wants the same thing, i asked him how come he hasnt texted me or called and he said neither have you.....
he is going through some really big stuff right now and my heart breaks for him cause he is a good person and he dosent deserve whats happening, its just not fair....

we arent back where we were but at least we have now taken steps to fix what may or may not have been broken.
i care about him as a person and as a friend and if we are a story that never gets told then thats fine cause i know i said in the past about Kevin but i mean it with Kory that if all we are is friends then great cause i would rather have him in my life as that then not at all but despite what ive said and how it looks on the outside there is something there, you cant deny that, people look at the way we are around each other and there is something there i just know it .... i cant wait for him but im not interested in having anything else with anyone else, i love my single life and plan on staying this way for awhile; however Kory is the ONLY exeption to that rule

one before the one

ive been thinking lately bout "the one" and if there really is that one person who make you better person in every way possible' mentally, physically, emotionally. now i havent found my "one" or have really even decided if there is just one but what i have noticed is that im tending to be the one before the one ala good luck chuck (mmm dane cook)

what do i mean by this you may ask well lets look back .... by the way its not by chance that im posting this on the 2 year aniversary of THE END because when something you thought was so sure comes to a halt and shakes you to your core, you really take stock and do a total 360 of your life and your belief system and i think there needs to be a certian level of respect paid to what was, what is and what will be...
now back to the one before the one...after THE END the ex took up with a girl (who shall never be mentioned even though i know her name and may or may not have facebook stalked here like once or twice or five times) they are still together and by the buzz from mutal friends all signs point to the alter anyway so fine the ex of 2 years moving on not such a big deal untill i hear from another mutal friend about K, apprently he met some chick and is head over heels for her even going so far as to change his facebook pic and realtionship status (something he never did with me) (i creeped and its at the end of this post...i will wait as you scoll down to look ... jepordy music as you find your spot again.....pretty weird right ????) as well as also taking himself off a well known dating website (again something he never did with me)
this whole charade brings up questions in my head...why not me? why wasnt i wasnt i the one who inspired all these changes? i know i cant change what happened between us and i just have to accept the reality as it is but really !? like c'mon !! it does give me some small piece of mind/victory knowing that people like him will never truly change and its only a matter of time before he cheats on her (which will happen at CCJ) or spends all her money (which will happen this summer cuz shes a teacher, not in my system i already checked on that too) and im happy knowing that it wont be me that has to deal with all that heartbreak/bullshit all over again that being said it dose sting a little knowing he apprently stupidly happy with her...

so there you have it 2 for 2 and just wait im 90% sure in a couple months i will write a follow post anncoucing that KE has found someone new now that hes online dating only a few short weeks after he told me that he didnt want a realtionship...check that he just didnt want one with me....

im not sad today but like i said i just feel that today attention should be paid to what was, what is and what will be....

success of st.patty's day

 st.patty's 2011 was a grand success.

 i had the best time with all my friends.

 friends who i dont normally party with but they made it amazing and it just goes to show me how ive created a pretty amazing group of people to surround myself with and that makes me very happy :)

where does happiness come from?

last night i was having a conversation with my mom regarding the fact that B & C were questioning my why i didnt have a boyfriend or even want on for that matter and she said i just want you to be happy.....

why dose my happiness have to come from a guy?

why cant it come from the relationships i have with my friends and family?

why cant it come from my career?

why cant it come from my hobbies ? and my love of travel and trying new things?

she said i was totally right and then she said im so much stronger than my brother. she worries about him, bout his life choices and his ability to see beyond whats right in front of him.....i said all this to her have i ever been a big get-married-and-have-kids kind of girl? she said no never .

why have a relationship/marriage?

95% of all marriages end in divorce (i know thats not a reason to not do it)

i said to her...do you really want me to call you crying on the lawn at 3am or deal with the emotional disaster that was up to 6 months after the end with THE EX cause i really have no need to feel any of that again. im not saying im not gonna get into a relationship with someone because im scared of being hurt, im just being realistic and im really starting to think despite what all my friends are doing and how they are feeling and how they think i should feel is that marriage just isnt for me and im really ok with that.

moments of weakness

this weekend was a tough on for me.

while im really enjoying being single and would not settle to be with someone that didnt give me the za za zu just for the sake of being with someone, there are moments when it would be nice to have someone there. dont get me wrong i have a great group of friends and i love them all dearly but sometimes you just need a boyfriend....like when you need to go to the emergency room at 930pm on a friday night or when you are in bed sick all day on a monday. it would have been nice for a boyfriend to drive me to the emergency room and sit with me till 130 am or to bring me chicken noodle soup on monday after work.

i shouldnt complain but it gets hard sometimes and maybe im just having a lonely moment even so....

Google me ? Google you !

I believe I’m a relatively sane person (maybe not the best way to start a blog post) I mean that when it comes to guys, 90% of the time I’m not the crazy chick that guys seem to think most girls are; however this all goes out the window when I met a new guy that I like.
Let me explain…..once I find out their last name I take creeping online to a whole level (according to my friends anyway) I Google them…I Bing them…I facebook them…I even Google map them (which I recently found out I can get like a real life pic of their house (if I know their address, can we say stalker))….90% of the time nothing comes up except their facebook profile and at which time I look through every picture/mutual friend/hot guy they are friends with in pics….its really sad sometimes, I mean I waste at least a minimum of 2 hrs doing this….My point is that I did this to Cody and it gave me the page of the phonebook where his name/address/phone number is listed……I’m all for online stalking gathering information but that is just crazy !!
This is just the reason I don’t put my full name on the internet, mind you I don’t really have anything to hid other than my blog(s) and my online dating profile (which is not going as well as I hoped) speaking of which I found out KE is on the same site and when I log out each day(cause I check it like a crazy person) I check his profile to see when he was last online….I’m moving on but still it makes me sad but then I stop being sad and be awesome instead !!!

Dear men of the world....

before i post i would just like to stay that i found a blog called Back to the BasicK.....its AMAZING !!! she as a shitload of awesome photo/quotes/posts....seriously check her out !

Dear men of the world,
[and yes, i realize how gender specific this post is]
Be good to women. and if you have one woman in your life.... that you care about. like for real...be even better to her.

Tell her shes beautiful. tell her she is good. tell her how she is your sanity. your muse. communicate. text message. call. write a letter. send an email. a momento. a song.

And when she is with you. hold her hand. touch her knee. look at her kinda creepy sometimes, because you know what? you could die tomorrow…and god damnit you would want to remember that face. right? and those eyes. kiss her in public. don't cling but be there. touch the small of her back. smile from across the room. make love to her. make her feel sexy. desired. FUCK her.

And when you are not together. make time to not be together. together.
Be honest. don't half ass anything. anything. don't nitpick. don't tease out of spite. don't be silent either. understand that certain things hit home more than others. know that she is product of her past. just as you are.

And be real. and not just when your drunk. spill your guts. what does it feel like to be you? how would i ever know unless you tell her?
Bring her flowers. come over to her place. pay for her shitty beer. make her feel good about where she is at. and who she is with. and about her hair. let her have her space, but ask to invade it. and don't rule anything out, because if you really care about a woman. you will go the extra mile. you will go out of your comfort zone. to slay a fuckin dragon. or to even just kill a spider. and roll up your sleeves. and lay down your coat. or even just sleep in her bed, for one night.


Be a man. man up. put on your fuckin armor and then take it off when you get to her. and the time comes. to be humble and noble. and pure.

Because you know what? some other man else will eventually go that extra mile. slay a dragon or two. and take the extra step. and say fuck it to the man comfort zone. to get to her. and you will lose.
And one day. in the mail. you will get a letter from her lover, boyfriend, husband or lie partner and it will read: “thank you for not doing x,y, and z, because she is the amazing and she is my world”.
Yeah. Thatt.
Sincerely,
One woman of the world

Hangover Wednesday

You may wonder why im hungover on a Wednesday or why I feel like this title might be a regular occurrence such as Monday morning confessions…..well let me tell you , I play slow pitch every Tuesday with like 10 guys so we normally have a bucket of beer (or 5) so as it so happens we played a late game last night and went out for a few after the game….i didn’t get home till 2am and up at 6am so now here I am running on 4 hrs of sleep, chugging down tummies and wishing kindergarten wasn’t so loud….

i was not ment for this....

its -45 in my city today.

its been like this for a week.

this is bullshit !!!!

i started my application to live down under for 6 months yesterday.

i was not ment to withstand this nonsense weather.

its gonna be like this for two more weeks !!!

BRAAAP !!!!!

My week at the lake was….. wait for it …. AWESOME!!!!
I worked 12 hrs a day (totally didn’t feel like it at the time), did a lot of drinking and kissed a boy and put the whole issue with Kory to bed for good (I hope so at least)
On that note, here’s how it all went down….Sunday I called and Kory to come for wings Tuesday and he was back and forth about it so whatever long story short he didn’t come , he rolled in Saturday am at like 930am with Tornado da Slednecks (what I’m calling him and his crew from now on)
anyway he rolled in probably still drunk from the night before and not two words to me oh wait that’s a lie he asked me for a drink but called me by the nickname Kevin gave me and I said he can have whatever he wants as long as he never calls me by that name again so fine they all had drinks and bfast and away they went. 
I should probably mention he came in with a guy aka Cody who is super cute and has a big truck and a very cool, very fast sled ( found that out later on in the day) so me and this guy start flirting pretty good at 9am hahaha
I go through my day pretty good, we were quite busy because of the rally that was happening but all in all pretty good day (I was very hung-over from the night before) so before I know it Tornado da Slednecks roll in again for drinks and food. Again me and Cody start flirting pretty good so he invites me to come with them and I decline cause I’m working….. Goose said that we should all start drinking so that when they come back we can be on sort of the same level as them cuz if you aren’t they just piss you off hahaha I also showered before they all rolled back in about an hour and half later, this time I come into the bar from the restaurant and Kory and crew are on one side of the bar and Cody is behind the bar attempting to make drinks hahaha so I ask them what’s happening and Kory pipes up we came back to see you with his stupid little grin and that laugh that gets me every time (Cody is still behind the bar with me at this point) I get them all drinks and shots however whilst I’m making these Cody picks me up and ya just holds me in his arms for a minute or two and puts me back down hahahaha it was crazy. Goose told me later that Kory was shooting Cody dirty looks the whole time cuz he did it more than once and really Kory needs to calm down, I realize they are kind of buddies or know each other at least but you don’t want a relationship so I’m gonna be single and do what I wanna do and makes me happy so whatever I kinda stopped working once they all rolled back in cuz I wanted to drink (which I did a lot of ) and go for a ride on a couple sleds (which I did twice hahaha)
So to make a long, fuzzy story short I stayed overnight in the cabin with Cody and woke up in the am to leave only to meet Kory in the living room cause he slept on the couch and ya so I’m pretty sure he knew what happened between me and Cody cause they all came to the restaurant for bfast about 10 min after I got there and Kory wouldn’t even look at me.
And you know what…? I don’t feel bad….I mean maybe a little cause we were supposed to go sledding this weekend but whatever its not my fault its his and shit happens hahaha
OMG I totally forgot to mention what pissed me off about me in the first place….he told me that he left his phone in Calgary when he went to Costa Rica but when he came in for bfast Saturday am he had it with him so why lie about something so stupid also I found him on the same online dating site I am on I mean you say you don’t want a relationship but are on that site, doesn’t really make sense to me ???? So whatever, I don’t care, I’m better than that, it’s not ok the way he treats me and I won’t stand for it.
PS – Goose said she was gonna give Cody my number and I had a missed call from an unknown number last night so if it was him , hopefully he will call again…I kinda like him and think he would be lots of fun hahaha so we will see

hangovers and shoes VS babies and mortages

so about a week agao i found out another friend of mine is with child so it got me wondering about my life and what i want.

i alot of friends who are walking down the asile, making babies or buying houses and making homes and im getting waster on jager and trying to afford a trip to vegas in the spring.

do i feel like im missing out because im not doing the above things? not at all

do i really want to ? meh i could take it or leave it

i had a sicussion with a friend a few weeks ago and i said to her if i was with a guy who said i never want to get married but i will be 110% committed to you then i would be totally ok with that....i dont need a big huge wedding and im not dead set on having kids.

i dunno maybe im questioning this all cause i havent talked to Kory since vday...wait thats a lie i talked to him last night for like 3 min .... fuck its so weird with us cause we will either talk for 45 min and i feel like no time has gone by or we will talk for 5 min and its like pulling teeth to get a conversation out of him .... its just fustrating and i guess i shouldnt complain cuz we are just friends but considering i havent talk to you in like a month and hes been to costa rica and back .... i dunno its fucking weird and ive been giving him distance and not texting or calling like LW said i shouldnt but then again i was doing alright before she said all that so i dunno....

but im at the lake for a week, working/drinking/sledding/ice fishing so im happy to be where i can breathe and where people care about me :)

till next time i will leave you with this little nugget of wisdom.....i dont get drunk i get awesome

Vday.....

I've been really debating on whether to comment on vday or not.
I think David from The Rest is Still Unwritten said it best "Stop pushing love. Stop pushing hate. Stop the parade. Stop the pity. Just stop."

I dislike Valentine’s Day and it’s not just because I’m single. I have spent this day alone and in a couple. I fully with my whole heart believe that you shouldn’t have all this pressure to have a big grand gesture of I love you on one day. Why can’t you say it everyday or get/send flowers on a random Tuesday when you feel your world is going to hell in a hand basket. Wouldn’t that mean so much more?


That being said, I did have a pretty good Vday….i got a several very yummy chocolate cupcakes with ooy gooey icing and gummy hearts from several students, I went home after work and ate leftover pizza with ice cream cake and then talked to Kory on fbook (he is safe at home from a recent trip to Costa Rica, lucky bastard...)

This week is going very fast, im going dancing with Goose and Janice tomorrow night to the “twig” (no drinking for this girl, my bank account took a big hit this past week with the bday celebrations) and then off to the lake/home for a week !!!!
I could not be more excited to get out of the city and be where I can breathe !!! best of all me and Kory are going for wings on the Tuesday !!! yipeee !!!

Ever wonder....

ever wonder....
why people ask "how's it going?"

i dont think they do it cause they really care, they ask cause its small talk.....

what would they do if you really told them???

something to ponder on a thursday.....

Slednecks and Party Stretching

(i know its not monday morning anymore but i didnt get time to post yesterday)

I had the best weekend ever!!!

bout a month ago Kory came to visit me and we go to talking bout going sledding together, he said we should and that he would find me a sled to drive....so couple of weeks ago I was talking to him on the phone and said I wanted to hang out with him before he went on his trip(costa rica for a week, lucky duck) so he suggested I come out sledding with him and a few friends this past weekend.

 I went to his farm Friday night and we just hung out and talked and watched Wayne’s World (I had never seen it and he couldn’t believe that). We got up early on Saturday and go all loaded up and headed to Jamie’s place outside of PA.
 By the time we go it all together and people made it over it was about noon so we headed out...I was beyond nervous!!! but I have to say that for being sledding the first time in 10 years I did pretty good, I only kind of crashed into one little tree/bush (the snow was soft and I didn’t quite put all my weight to the one side and got a little stuck then i tried to get out and hit the tree, Kory came to save me and told me that was awesome haha)

Anyway we went to a nearby town for drinks and Chinese food and then back to Jamie’s. that night we went to a house party and Kory got drunker than I’ve ever seen him, mind you I drank a 26 of spiced rum to myself hahaha so I was in pretty fine form too hahaha however that night I kinda got some words form Lindsay (she is Jamie's gf and has know Kory for a long time) not thing bad just kinda giving me advice but more on that later.so after the party we went to stay at Lindsay’s parents place and I went straight to bed and while a few of them stayed up to have drinks, now the only reason I mention this is cause I woke up probably about a couple hours later to Kory cuddling me, which I thought was super sweet and its such a nice thing to feel cause I would have just expected him to crash on the couch or something....it was just nice and it makes me think that he feels more for me that what he lets on.....
we woke up Sunday am feeling pretty shitty but it was a beautiful day so instead of wasting it on the couch we drank some paralyzes and got loaded up to go sledding again. it was soooo much fun, we went faster and through more snow and even got lost hahaha but I’m soooo proud of myself for not getting stuck once and keeping up with them, Kory even said that night he was worried before but noticed that I went a lot faster on Sunday, so that makes me happy cause it shows him that I can hold my own on the sled.

we ended up at his buddies’ house for a lot of beer and rockband so while the boys were all playing rockband downstairs Lindsay took me upstairs and gave me some words of advice about Kory. she asked what the deal was and I said we were just good buddies so we talked about new years (not going to get into it but it wasn’t a good situation between me and Kory) anyway she told him that if he thinks something could happen between us fix the damage that had been done and if not then cut the ties so that makes me happy that he did fix it. she also told me to never text/call first and to make him think he is the farthest thing from my mind, she said if I do that then she promises he will come to me, she also mentioned don’t be needy and expect flowers or I love you calls/texts cause I guess his ex was really needy and to be honest I don’t care if he wants to go sledding with the boys or whatever and as far as the flowers go, whatever they die hahaha I get the feeling he would be a lot like my dad is as far as showing emotions would go I mean he is more likely to fill my car with gas than say I love you so I think Kory would be the same way.


So that’s that...we are friends with the occasional benefit thrown in but I’m not worried, whatever happens, happens.

You are where you are because that’s where you are meant to be

Happy Friday !!!

much love in a new place...Happy Friday !!

Fave moments of 2010

now that january is quickly comeing to a close, ive had time to reflect on some of my fave moments of 2010 (2011 is shaping up to be quite awesome, just might be best year ever....shhh dont wanna jix it) anyway so here they are a few highlights from 2010...



cozumel, mexico in january



Chichen Itza

Cancun, Mexico

Drinks on the beach in Cozumel



SM & RB's wedding in March



Trip to C-town with JL in April



Nickelback with B - May



new ink by Romy Ink - Nov

Halloween with AP

 



Working at the lake



DJ Pauly D - October

Down With Webster - November

EE's bday in M-Hat in Sept

missing this in -41 weather

sunset at the lake on Canada Day 2010

Happily Single

Recently I read an article on msn called “scared to commit or happily single?” after reading I took stock of my life in the last little bit and for the first time in 5 years I’m happy with who I am and where I am in my life. now don’t get me wrong the 3 and ½ years with THE EX were alright and I had happy moments and me and K had our good times but as of late I’m really quite content with who and where I am. It’s a really great feeling especially after hitting some really low points this past spring.


I think part of why I feel this way is cause after almost 2 years after the break-up heard round the world (well not quite but it was pretty earth shattering to me) I have forgiven him and (even though I hate to admit it) her. I’m not angry anymore, I’m not sad; I’m not anything about it. Now while it’s been a long tough road back to this good/happy place, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Yes it sucked, it sucked big time but I’m grateful for who it’s made me cause lets face it if it wasn’t right then it wouldn’t be right now. I can honestly say that I want him to be happy. Don’t get me wrong I still feel I have every right to turn and walk away if I see him in the mall or something but I don’t hold any ill will against the situation.

My friends keep pushing me to be with someone but I don’t want to. I mean just last weekend we all went out (significant others in tow) and they all fought with their men all night so I said really? This is what you are pushing for me to have? The stress? The drama? NO THANK YOU! I went home that night feeling good (not just because of the fact that I tried to drink the bar), I felt good emotionally. I’ve also taken it upon myself this year to get rid of the negativity in my life, whether it is people or situations and if this means I loose certain people out of my life then so be it, life is to short! I’m also starting to believe that if I can’t do anything to fix a situation then it is best to let it go and let it take the course that it needs to take.

“you are where you are cause that’s where you need to be”