sometimes I feel really alone
sometimes I get in my head and over analyze a situation
sometimes I feel hopeless

I had a great weekend, met a great guy and I want it to go down the right road but every fibre of my being is telling me to stop and run
its telling me that it wont work
its telling me that he will fuck me over just like every other guy before him and everyone after

people say oh T don't worry, you'll meet someone when the times right but if I sabotage every good thing (or what I think are good things) then will it really?
they say that he wasn't right....it ever going to be?
they say just forget and move on

they don't know what the hurt feels like
they don't know how I pretend to be happy and smile and go through the day like I don't care when really deep down I care to much and maybe that's my problem is that I care to much to soon
maybe I shouldn't sleep with them right away
maybe I should just play it cool

maybe its all my fault
maybe something is wrong with me

maybe......

ive been struggling a lot lately
I don't know when it started and im scared it wont stop
I feel lost

work is stressful and it dosent help when just because someone cant get all their work done in the day they get moved upstairs in their own office and they don't have to deal with the day to day shit, I just wonder sometimes what im working so hard for like where is my cushy office, ive been there a year and half , this bitch has been there 4 months and has only actually been in the office for maybe half of that
its seems unfair that just because she has a kid she gets special treatment
sometimes I feel taken advantage of because I don't have a marriage and child

but then again all I have in life right now is work
no relationship and the better part of my friends have relationships

I dunno I sometimes feel like one part starts to go right and then other part falls apart like if everything is awesome at work then there are no boys and if the boy part is great the work thing falls to shit

when is it all gonna come together?