I don't know....

I have tried to start this blog post maybe  half a dozen times. I don’t know what to write , I don’t know how to feel.

I guess I should feel lucky to still be working in times like these . I should feel thankful that my friends and family are doing their best to be safe and that no one is affect as of today (fingers crossed it stays that way). In counting my blessings I can help but feel sad and overwhelmed. I am sad for my friends who are in other countries. I am sad for my friends who are out of work. I am overwhelmed because I don’t know when this is going to end. I am overwhelmed at the amount of information out there.

I don’t know how much I am going to write (I’ve never been great at keeping up with things like this) but we are in such a weird time in our world right now that its nice to have some place to get out the feelings and say what needs to be said even if no one reads it.

4 more feet

we are getting a new dog.

i know i should be excited but i'm having such anxiety.

i'm nervous about how its going to affect Memphis ; i'm nervous about how its going to affect the relationship between me and cory.

i know once she comes and we get into a groove its going to be ok.

i just have a hard time with change and we have cultivated this life over the last 5 years and its all gonna change.

i just hope we arent making a huge mistake....

adventure with a capital A

This weekend we took our new (to us) tent trailer out on its maiden voyage. After a couple days of back and forth we decided to chase the sun and head west to Banff.

We left the city at about 530 am on Friday morning and had to stop and turn around about 2.5 hrs into the trip because we lost the plate off the trailer. Once back on the road we stopped in Hanna only to discover the plate was missing again, we threw caution to the wind and clear tapped the registration to the bumper and continued on our way.

Upon arriving at the main gate in Banff we discovered that our first choice campground was closed for the season #sadface – our second choice was closed so we took our chances and drove up the road to our third choice and being first come – first serve it was a real big chance. Upon arrival we discovered it was full but two Parks Canada people suggested overflow at a campground closer to Banff so we turned around and drove another 30 min back to find out overflow was not yet open; they however suggested to try another campground further down the road so we off we went again. On our 15 min drive we started calling hotels and hostels trying to just find a place other than the side of the road to lay our heads for the night.

We arrived at the campground and explained what we had been through up to that ponint and low and behold they had a site for us. I can never express my gratitude to the two Parks Canada employee’s working at Two Jack Main Campground that day but they saved us that day.

The rest of our weekend went pretty well – couple shots of tequilla, a 2 hr hike and a couple rain drops – we made the most of our time in the mountains and stayed chill with each other throughout it all.

I can’t wait to see what happens the next time we venture out into the great outdoors  🌲

Backwards or Forwards

So I had a pretty good job at a trucking company– high stress  but good. I liked my co-workers and the pay was great. I left after 7 months after a highly stressful couple of weeks. I went into a job that the trucking company deals with; however I told the trucking company I went back to school. In hind site I should have went HR & management and explained how I was feeling

After a couple weeks at the new job, I started to really question whether the job was really for me or not ; now after almost 2 months I kind of realize it isn’t. I have heard through former co-workers the trucking company that my old boss still asks about me and if I would be willing to come back. I have since sent an email to the boss that was asking as well as the HR manager stating that things didn’t work out and that if there was a position open up then I would be excited to come back. The HR manager emailed me back right away saying there were options for me.

This morning my current boss called me out for being quite the last couple weeks and asking if I was happy in my position. I was honest and said I’ve been struggling with whether or not I am the right person for the job as it deals with a lot of accounting and numbers and costing.

The company I currently work for is small only about 45 people ; however trucking company has over 200 and seems to be more room for growth and at 33 years old , I'm not sure I want to be stuck in a deadened reception job.

I’m just so confused on what to do….please help.

Home....

Foxford – a small hamlet 45 min out of Prince Albert going towards Nipawin on Hwy 55.

That’s the definition that is given. It is a blink and you miss it kind of place; however for over thirty years for me it was so much more; so much more than four houses and a post office, it was home. It was the place I went when I needed to remember who I was, where I came from and just - for a little while - be a kid no matter how old I was.

I have so many memories and so many firsts at the farm on the south side of Hwy 55. It’s hard to put into words the amount a place, a piece of land, a smell, a feeling means to you after all those years.  I learned to walk, I learned to ride a horse, I learned to drive and I learned to let go because now that’s what we need to do, what the four people who loved it and will miss it the most need to do…let go. 

It’s a unique feeling of pride and home and loss that only three other people on this planet will experience.

I consider myself so lucky to have been able to call the same four walls and same piece of land home for my entire childhood, teenage years and into adulthood. I have true roots and those roots run deep. Nothing can take away the memories and even though it hurts and feels so much like the death of something, I will always remember planting the trees that we later played in as kids, I will always remember dad coming home after hunting with a deer or moose or elk and being so excited, I will remember planting flowers with mom and working in the craft shop, I will always remember playing Lego and hiding a cat with Kolby.