lost...

i have all this freedom to do what i want in the fall but i am sooo scared to take that next step...i just feel so lost...i wish someone would just tell me this is what you're doing in the fall and then i will just do it...i was talking to B last night and she said she could hear in my voice how excited i got even just talking about moving to the R and how not excited i was to stay in S...

i have been making a pro/con list with those two places and BC on it and i think i just need to take the leap and move to R and worst comes to worst i can always come home....there would be no fear, no past, no nothing standing in my way...

i think B was right when she told me that i am not strong enough to stay in S without her b/c she will be gone till after new years and ya i just need to get out and get away from it all and maybe R is a place where i can be happy...BC is to much of a distancce to see if i would be happy there

so ya this is the thoughts that are running though my head these days...in the end though i am going to wait to see what summer brings...