Monday Confessions

I know its Tuesday and not Monday confessions but whatever I don’t have a computer and in 2 and ½ days I wont be near one on a daily occurrence so the blogs might get a little long but I will try and keep ya’ll updated every few days….

This past weekend I went out of town to one of my very best friend’s shower/stagette. It was really nice to see and catch up with some people I haven’t really seen since I started dating C like 3 years ago….and then there were some people I could go without seeing for the rest of my life like my blast from the past…H!
oh that’s right he rolled up to the combined stag/stagette even though he isn’t really close to either my friend or the guy she is marrying….anyway we were all sitting around the fire drinking and having a good time and its getting later in the evening so I’m cold so me and L(my friends husband to be) go get our coats and H follows us and is all like oh lets talk, oh I miss you, blah blah blah…in all the bullshit that has gone in the last few months its nice to know something’s never change….like the fact that H tells me get has a new truck (big deal to farm kids) and asks if I want to go for a ride and to this day I’m pretty proud that I said no and walked away from him (we started dating shortly after I took a ride in his last truck) we also joked about how we will probably end up together when its all said and done….
When he first showed up at the party I had a mini panic attack and why I’m not really sure cause after talking to him I know there is nothing there in terms of attraction anymore but I dunno I guess cause he was all the major firsts for me (except kiss that was a bull rider from a small town near S) I dunno what it is about H that makes me panic well not really panic just get nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach maybe cause there is so much history there….seeing him felt a little like validation in that I may not be where I wanted to be at 24 but I am certainly not the same person I was when I was 16 or even 19 for that matter (we first met when I was 16 and started dating at 19)

Another little tid-bit of new that happened over the weekend into yesterday is that MO was texting me all Saturday night (while I’m dealing with H) and was like we have to get together before I leave for the summer….so yesterday he texted me at like 730 asking if I wanted to hang out and watch a movie and I wasn’t doing anything important so I said ok….10pm rolls around and he shows up (he was texting me the whole time cuz random stuff came up that he had to do so whatever) anyway he works at 6 every day it wasn’t a long visit but he asked if we could hang out tonight so he said he would text me when he gets off work at like 630-700 so ya I guess I will just see where it all goes…I mean we have fun together and there were no awkward silences it was just comfortable but I mean come on I have 2 and ½ days left…..

Well that was a lot of information to get out in a blog but get used to it cause this is what’s it’s gonna be like until I get a computer again and blog day by day….